Disrespect
for the sake of disrespect is not ok. I’m not saying challenging behaviors are
ok. But, we have to consider why the student is acting in a certain way and
adjust ourselves. They are still just children. Often they are
children with less than ideal situations at home, so they lack skills. The
skills they do have are to survive in their home environment, which often
requires aggression (verbal and physical). All students deserve love and
respect as well as guidance. There are certain expectations that must be met,
but many student require teaching to be able to meet those expectations.
If we expect them to learn only from mistakes and consequences, we will
simply be reinforcing their negative image of themselves, not teaching new
skills. If they had the skills, they would use them.
When
we are stressed (for any reason: because of our environment, lack of
nutrition/proper sleep, illness, etc.) our body releases a hormone called
cortisol. High levels of cortisol over a period of time actually changes
body chemistry, particularly in the brain, and can actually cause mental
illness. The first time I read about that I was shocked that this is not
common knowledge in our society. This reaction is why people in war zones
or those who experience abuse or neglect develop things like
Post-Traumatic-Stress-Disorder, anxiety, depression, etc. In fact,
studies have shown that young children living in poverty have increased levels
of cortisol and that it is particularly damaging to their development during
the critical ages of 0-5.
In
addition, the classroom environment and teacher-student relationship can itself
cause stress.
Therefore, while we as teachers lament about poor behavior and choices, we are often ignoring the fact that many students are not equipped to make better choices or it is our behavior that is creating the problem or making it worse. That does not mean that students should not have consequences, but there should be balance. When a child can’t read, we don’t blame them (or at least most people don’t), we teach them. If they can’t behave we should teach them the skills they are missing. We need to first examine ourselves. Are we providing enough positive feedback? A stimulating and engaging environment? Enough support? Are we teaching conflict resolution, anger management, organization and communication skills? Are we modeling respect, forgiveness and compassion?
Therefore, while we as teachers lament about poor behavior and choices, we are often ignoring the fact that many students are not equipped to make better choices or it is our behavior that is creating the problem or making it worse. That does not mean that students should not have consequences, but there should be balance. When a child can’t read, we don’t blame them (or at least most people don’t), we teach them. If they can’t behave we should teach them the skills they are missing. We need to first examine ourselves. Are we providing enough positive feedback? A stimulating and engaging environment? Enough support? Are we teaching conflict resolution, anger management, organization and communication skills? Are we modeling respect, forgiveness and compassion?
I
know I’m asking for a huge shift in thinking for many. But, I don’t base
my philosophy on pseudo-science, I’m basing it on solid psychological and
neurobiological research. At one point I considered getting my master’s
in neuroscience because it’s so interesting to me (but then I learned that I’d
practically need a second B.S. degree first and changed my mind). There
are PET Scans that back up these facts. Our society prefers to ignore the
socio-economic issues and tends to blame those living in poverty or abusive
situations, but it is much more complicated than most people think.
In
my mind, if children coming from difficult backgrounds are to have any chance
at all in life, it will be because of positive influences in their life, and
almost certainly because of a teacher. You are in a position to change a
child’s trajectory. That is a heavy responsibility. I know you
chose this field to make a difference. Further, you chose Imagine because you
wanted a different atmosphere than a traditional public school. While we
enjoy the benefits of working for Imagine, we have an even bigger
responsibility to our students because we offer a promise of teaching the whole
child. We offer this knowing that the burden falls primarily on the
classroom teacher because we have limited support resources. I would not
waste my time writing this email on a Saturday if I did not believe in my
colleagues. I believe in your love and compassion as well as your
dedication. I know that everyone does the best they can with what they
know.
Knowledge
is power, so with that in mind, I’ve pulled some article excerpts to
share with you in the hopes that it will give you some insight and increase
your understanding for these students. Increasing your own
skill-set in dealing with behavioral issues will only increase your
effectiveness as a teacher. I am always here to help you problem
solve! I want you to know from where I base my advice, thus I’m sending
out this novel of an email.
“In general, kids with intense anxiety will respond to what others
would consider typical daily challenges with one of the two responses mentioned
above: fight or flight. Some students with anxiety withdraw and avoid the
challenging situation. This can be come in the form of school refusal (not
attending) or resistance (major difficulty transitioning to school). In
somewhat milder cases, these are students that don’t take chances or shut down
when school becomes challenging. With respect to fight, some anxious students
lash out in the face of fear, and can become both verbally and/or physically
aggressive.
At the core of anxiety is irrational thinking. These kids hold
on to rigid, unreasonable rules about their environment that increase tension
and apprehension. “I know I will fail that test”, “No one likes me”, “School is
not safe”, and “Talking is dangerous” are but a small sample of the thoughts
that increase anxiety, and in turn, result in behaviors that are getting in the
way. These thoughts are irrational because in most cases, the beliefs or
worries have no basis in reality. There is simply no evidence to support them.”
http://www.specialeducationadvisor.com/fight-or-flight-anxiety-in-the-classroom/
“BERKELEY — While a healthy dose of self-esteem can absorb
the shock of rejection, poor self-esteem can trigger the primal fight-or-flight
response, according to a new University of California, Berkeley study.”
“Abused children quite often
suffer from damaged or very low self-esteem in addition to the other myriad of
post-trauma symptoms and negative behaviors. Treatment of these children often
targets the overt behaviors that many post abuse children have: oppositional
behaviors, acting out behaviors that include anger and rage, fight and flight,
and quite possibly intense focus difficulties and bullying other children.
Other children may have more internalized post trauma behaviors that include
extreme shyness and social awkwardness, as well as very strained
self-confidence in their abilities. In either case, the abused child struggles
to attain a healthy self-esteem, and needs assistance to do so.
All forms of child abuse negatively
impact a growing child’s sense of their own value; neglect, physical and sexual
abuse, while having subtle differences in effect, has low self-esteem impacts
in common. The effect of neglect on a child clearly conveys that the child is
not as valued and as important as they should be to the caregiver. By the time
the child is school age (Kindergarten), the child has come to the intellectual
level to be able to discern the differences in how families function by
observing other children and their parents. The neglected child is able to see
that not all parents pay so little attention to their child’s needs; by
comparison, the neglected child begins to consider why this is so. Inevitably,
one stand out conclusion is that they themselves are not worth of such love and
care from their caregiver.
Physical abuse produces low
self-esteem due to the very physicality of the abuse. Children are tiny
compared to adults, and really have no hope of fighting back (physically) in
any way that is genuinely effective at protecting themselves. This kind of
violation of one’s body creates a sense of helplessness, and, in the case of
repeated physical abuse, hopelessness as well. Cultural meta-learning teaches
everyone at a very young age that we have the right and responsibility to
defend ourselves against wrongs, and if we do not, we are weak, ineffective,
and less than perfect. So what happens to one’s self-image when the person who
is wronging you is a loved caregiver? Confusion happens. If my caregiver loves
me, and I love my caregiver, but my caregiver is hitting, punching, or throwing
me, it must mean that there is something that I am
doing wrong, or, there is something terribly wrong with me at a very basic
level. I am bad. In addition, a kind of guilt feeling
arises surrounding the child’s inability to protect themselves from the abuse.
Out of these emotions, an intense feeling of being different from other
children and the need to hide the facts surrounding the negative emotions
begins to flow.” http://krillco.hubpages.com/hub/Self-Esteem-Damages-in-Abused-Children
“Students with poor social skills have been shown to:
- Experience difficulties in interpersonal relationships with parents, teachers, and peers.
- Evoke highly negative responses from others that lead to high levels of peer rejection. Peer rejection has been linked on several occasions with school violence.
- Show signs of depression, aggression and anxiety.
- Demonstrate poor academic performance as an indirect consequence.
- Show a higher incidence of involvement in the criminal justice system as adults” http://www.nasponline.org/resources/factsheets/socialskills_fs.aspx
“…toxic stress from prolonged and intense adverse occurrences.[5] Toxic
stress can last for weeks, months, or even years.[5] Children
are often incapable of managing toxic stress on their own, and need caring and
supportive adults to help them.[5] If
the sufficient support is not available, the results of this type of stress can
lead to permanent changes in brain development.[5]Research has found that children
experiencing severe and long-term abuse have smaller brain sizes.[6] If
the situation is not as severe, toxic stress will still alter the stress
response system.[6]The changes in the system will cause
children to react to a wider variety of stressors.[6] However,
with sufficient care and support from adults, children can return their stress
levels to tolerable or good.[5]” http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Early_childhood_stress_and_neurobiological_effects